![]() ![]() The unspoken issues and irritants add up until the tension will hit a breaking point.Įventually, partners explode, or worse, shut down. However, as he details in Principia Amoris, these couples are at greater risk of “drifting apart with zero interdependence over time, and thus being left with a marriage consisting of two parallel lives, never touching, especially when the children home.” Gottman’s research has revealed that for some conflict avoiders, this interaction is good enough for them. They tell themselves that whatever is bothering them isn’t worth bringing up. Some partners avoid conflict because they think they’re keeping the peace. At least they’re talking, even if they’re arguing, because as Lisa Brookes Kift, LMFT explains, not arguing means you’re not communicating. ![]() However, after working with couples for 15 years, it has become crystal clear that those couples have a leg up on other couples that are struggling. It’s easy to understand that relationships fail when conflict is unrelenting. Constant conflict, chronic disrespect, and serious betrayals get a lot of air time when we’re talking about bad relationships. ![]()
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